Marriages don’t abruptly end, they slowly erode. Through a multitude of issues that changes couple by couple, marriages end, and the divorce process begins. Sometimes, love is still in the equation, but the marriage just isn’t working anymore.
An amicable divorce would be the ideal situation, but often, especially in divorces that include child custody, tension seems to rise to the top.
So, when do you know if it’s time to pull the plug?
These six signals can help guide you toward a conclusion to that major decision.
- Conflict resolution is non-existent: This signal boils down to being unable to mend disagreements and differences without injuring the relationship. This is what causes the lack of communication because couples who constantly argue and can’t resolve conflict in a healthy manner eventually avoid disagreement and conflict altogether. Avoid your problems will erode a marriage.
- Emotional disengagement: To develop intimacy, especially lasting intimacy, a couple must be emotionally engaged. The couple must be willing to discuss and guide each other through the emotional highs and lows of life.
- Disaffection: If you and your partner have disengaged emotionally, the love is likely fading. A common phrase of divorcees is that they “fell out of love.”
- Lack of physical intimacy: A physical connection is just as important to a successful marriage as an emotional connection because they intertwine. When physical acts are mitigated from a relationship, it means there is little to no emotional engagement and that the marriage is eroding.
- Increased focus on outside interests: It’s a cliché, but successful marriages are built on teamwork. If one or both spouses are putting their full effort into factors outside of the marriage, like their career by working late every night or focusing solely on their children’s activities, the relationship that started it all will suffer. That again boils down to that emotional connection and trust that is vital for a marriage to succeed and fend off these urges that lead to affairs and divorce.
- Preparing for single life: One tactic used by used spouses to signal they are preparing for divorce are sudden changes in their actions to improve their physical appearance to enhance their chances of dating.
Now, don’t take this signal the wrong way. Many people in happy relationships and marriages work to improve their appearance by losing weight, lifting weights and tending to other parts of their body, which is why you must be aware of the above signals. If the signs above are evident in the relationship and your spouse is suddenly and earnestly working to improve their appearance, the topic of divorce may be brought up soon.