Dating during divorce: Should you do it?

On Behalf of | Dec 16, 2020 | Divorce |

When it comes to dating during divorce, there is no law that says you cannot do it. However, the big question is, should you?

Regardless of how you feel emotionally, dating while your New Jersey divorce is pending can have serious legal, financial and emotional implications. explains the very real and damaging consequences of jumping into a new relationship before your old one is officially over.

Dating during divorce can increase your legal fees

Regardless of who initiated the divorce or how you and your spouse feel about each other, assuming a new partner before your divorce is final is likely to spark feelings of jealousy, anger and hurt in your soon-to-be ex-spouse. These feelings are not conducive to a timely and cost-efficient divorce, as they can result in heightened stress and conflict. High conflict divorces can take years to settle, as your spouse may suddenly want to fight you on every little aspect, from property division to spousal support to child custody. The longer your divorce takes to settle, the more you will have to pay in legal costs.

Dating during divorce can hurt your relationship with your children

Dating while your divorce is pending can hurt the parent-child relationship in a couple of different ways. For starters, it is not uncommon for pending divorcees to let their new relationships distort their clarity regarding the amount of parenting time they desire in the divorce. For instance, you may base your wants on your desire to spend significant time with your new partner, and then come to regret this decision once the new relationship has fizzled out.

Additionally, your new relationship may impede your children’s ability to heal. In the months following a divorce, children need extra attention, reassurance and stability, all of which you may struggle to provide if you let a new fling distract you.

Dating during divorce can strain your friendships

In addition to actual property, many couples acquire friendships during their marriages. It is not uncommon for friends to feel blindsided by another friend’s divorce announcement, but while most recover quickly, some may choose sides if they feel one party of the relationship somehow wronged the other. If you jump into a new relationship before your divorce is final, your friends may question your fidelity during the union, your moral compass and their respect for you.