Very few universal relationship rules exist that determine whether your marriage should continue. Of course, certain inconveniences, losses, questions and scrutiny may arise during your relationship, but how do you know if it is time for a divorce?
Familiarizing yourself with common warning signs may help you predict whether your relationship is salvageable or if you are heading towards an inevitable divorce.
1. Shutting down during a conversation
Even if you do not realize that you are doing it, you might always act on the defensive when around your partner. You might tend to defend yourself by whining, forming a counter complaint or acting like a victim. This behavior demonstrates that you are likely not paying attention to what the other person is talking about and do not care about your spouse’s perspective.
2. Being highly critical
Notice if the fights between you and your spouse have turned into personal attacks and critiques on their character rather than just commentary on behavior. For example, you might frequently use generalizations such as “you never…” or “why are you always so….”
Conversations such as these are seldom productive as the other person feels attacked. This might make you or your spouse constantly feel insecure or defensive around each other.
3. Keeping major secrets
Acting super secretive around your spouse and hiding major issues from them does not bode well for your relationship. Reflect on why you keep secrecy around certain topics. Do you have surmounting debt you have not revealed? Do you spend time with an ex without telling your spouse? Do you make big plans for the future without including your partner?
Those big secrets can cause an air of disrespect in the marriage; if the mysteries continue to multiply, the severity increases.